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Things Your Pet Would Say If They Could Talk

Haven’t we all wished our furry friend could talk back to us? If even just for a moment for a little company, it would be nice to hear what they have to say when they get up to all sorts of funny things! If our pets could talk, we think they would say…


“Hey you! My bowl is empty again. I demand a refill!”

“Look at me! I’m the world’s best climber. Watch me scale this treacherous terrain, a.k.a the curtains!”

(At 3am) “Wake uuup! Wake up! Hellooo! I need food! I will sit on top of your head and lick your nose until you get up!”

“I would like belly rubs! Just kidding! I’m going to claw the heck out of your hand now.”

“It’s been exactly 12 minutes since I was last fed. I’m wasting away! Refill my bowl immediately!”

“Look at this magnificent pile of folded laundry! I am claiming this as my new bed. You can throw away the expensive cat bed you bought me which I never use now!”

(Anytime an empty box is left unattended for more than three seconds) “I LOVE my new house! I’m going to stay here forever now!”

“Look! Look! I’ve brought you a snack. It’s a half-dead pigeon!”

“Open the door! Open it! Okay, never mind, I’m not going outside anymore. As you were.”

(While climbing onto your laptop keyboard while you work) “This surface is very nice and warm. I will now claim it as my new bed and not move for hours and hours.”



“Are you leaving the house AGAIN? Take me with you!”

“I know I’m, like, double your size, but I really want to sit on your lap!”

“Did someone say walkies? WALKIES WALKIES WALKIES! LET’S GOOO!”

“What is that? It smells good. Is it for me? Can I have some? I’m going to stare at you until you give me some of that. Is it good? I’m still staring. What if I do puppy dog eyes? Share with me!”

(While licking your face) “I am now going to kiss you! Kiss kiss kiss! I love you, human!”

“I must bark at every single car and person that passes the house and also at every leaf that even just slightly blows in the wind!”

(When it’s storming outside) “Human! I don’t like this weather at all! It’s loud and wet and cold and I’m going to crawl under a blanket and pretend I don’t hear it! Please give me back rubs while I hide until the apocalypse is over!”

“Did I hear a treat? I head the bag rustle! Is it for me? I am a very good boy and I deserve treats!”

“I don’t trust this new animal in the house. What did you say it was called? A cat? It doesn’t want to play, and it scratched my nose."

“You are my best friend and I love you, human.”